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There are so many asshole present. In introspect, it all feels right. The timing, the scenery. The empty holes are being filled. That is what you wanted, right? It's too late now. Living the life of a feign. |
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Hey momma. You've been gone nine years, today. I never really got to know you, and well my memory as a seven year old is very bland. I hope I am not a disappointment to you, but I know I am. Maybe you still love me. I am still your baby, right? |
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 You may unexpectedly decide to travel, change your studies, beliefs or legal strategies. You’re daydreaming about improving business/joint finances or about the joy of sex. Major changes or more control issues will come up with your honey or the public. 2009 will be a transition year of stability mixed with instability involving money and relationships. If you’re prepared you’ll handle 2009 with ease. Map out the challenging moments, talk to an astrologer if you’re feeling overwhelmed, but at the very least be prepared for the challenges. It will be a year of growth and positive change. |
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When I'm working for something, that's when I feel most accomplished; most satisfied, most relieved. And when you think there is nothing left to be done, just keep adding to the list, keep pushing, and I'll be okay. My void will be filled. My debt will be payed. Each day is better. Sometimes it's hard to see, but I always come around and I'll never give up. NEVER EVER.
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I spent the night at Nan's new APT. uptown Friday night, while my friends went to the parish fair. We went out to Frenchmen, I got to see her knit tight gang including Veronica and Garrett; that was nice. I ate a burrito from the taco stand, saw my insane cousin after twelve years, and watched a performance by some local New Orleans band that played Neil Young covers. It was nice to be "away" from here. It makes me realize how my environment affects my moods. The general society, even. Some place that is so close to home, can feel so far away just through terms of diversity. I stuck around for awhile the next day, grabbed lunch at Liauzza's, and ran errands with my sister around the city. I made her cry when I confessed the truth about my dislike for her choice in boys. Maybe I can't feel the way I do about him, but I'm not the one dating him. Like she says, she thinks of me as the older sister, and believes she is letting me down. There go, I felt like shit. |
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My life has been at ease for the most part. I get to fuck around, and shuffle my roles, but I need a change. A change in a permanent pace. |
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I think I'm feeling fine for the first time in awhile. I'm stable, to say the least. No scary threats or thoughts, no cries for attention. I've got everything I need, and the most solid group of well-rounded friends I could ever ask for. I appreciate what I got, and look forward to every day as an expansion towards my goal. Slowly but surely, I'm checking more off the list, making my way to the top. |
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to realize what may seem like an ideal, just isn't as good as what you already have. |
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You've got me nauctious. I am at a turning point right now. I am confused, and scared as all hell. And at the same time, feel like it. I am sinking. My thought process is jammed. Every thought I have is so fucking cynical, it brings me down, mentally and physically. I don't want to progess in you. I don't want progess in anything but myself. It's important that I figure this delima out. |
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They are never what it seems to be. Surfaced, empty, insecure. I didn't expect things to be quaint for us, but you're right, you make me fucking happy and that's all there is to it. You are something else, and I would be so happy to accompany you through whatever you need/want. |
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I've been telling myself the past seven years of my life is that "You don't need anybody but yourself." Which I guess is somewhat true, but at the same time, COMPLETLY false. My intentions were heading the right way, but my motives weren't. Insteading of downing life and everything around me, my new plan, is to accept the good and bad in things, and appreciate what I got. It'll be all good with a nice, SINCERE attitude and an open mind. |
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I woke up in a complete funk. I was exhausted prior to my illness and I was sad, nothing new. So I got fucked up, and in time all of that went away. Dalton gave me the greatest present today; an orange kitty. He played some Tony Hawk we mingled, then I came to work and hour late. I got written up today, but you know what, fuck it, because I just don't care anymore. I am over this. |
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