Loyal in your shadow

The Great Libido

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:31:19 GMT

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:28:29 GMT

There are so many asshole present. In introspect, it all feels right. The timing, the scenery. The empty holes are being filled. That is what you wanted, right? It's too late now. Living the life of a feign.

Breathe

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:05:01 GMT

People come and go, and that's something I learned to live with. But, while they are here to be a little part of me, I can do nothing but enjoy their presence as much as humanly possible. There will be bigger, there will be better.

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:27:50 GMT

Hey momma. You've been gone nine years, today. I never really got to know you, and well my memory as a seven year old is very bland. I hope I am not a disappointment to you, but I know I am. Maybe you still love me. I am still your baby, right?

I'm real drunk

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:30:06 GMT

You may unexpectedly decide to travel, change your studies, beliefs or legal strategies. You’re daydreaming about improving business/joint finances or about the joy of sex. Major changes or more control issues will come up with your honey or the public.

2009 will be a transition year of stability mixed with instability involving money and relationships. If you’re prepared you’ll handle 2009 with ease. Map out the challenging moments, talk to an astrologer if you’re feeling overwhelmed, but at the very least be prepared for the challenges. It will be a year of growth and positive change.

No. No. No.

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:38:29 GMT

THE MORE I SEE, THE LESS I KNOW. THE MORE I LIKE TO LET IT GO.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:36:26 GMT

When I'm working for something, that's when I feel most accomplished; most satisfied, most relieved. And when you think there is nothing left to be done, just keep adding to the list, keep pushing, and I'll be okay.
My void will be filled. My debt will be payed. Each day is better. Sometimes it's hard to see, but I always come around and I'll never give up. NEVER EVER.

How time has changed.

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 05:11:52 GMT

breast milk.

favorite underwear of all time

my bitch.

OPEN WIDE.

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i don't really know what I was thinking.

crotch shot for ya

so deathly sick. worst virus.

malibu tattoosss

prepubescent b(.)(.)bs

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nude.

cracked out

phone photos from 08

going to hammond listening to eminem cd's.

out of gas. third time that day with dalty.

shoppin in chicago

view from grant park

road trip!

before skinny dipping with snookie @ lake ramsey

rope swing

hair of the dog

the moon on my birthday

just turned 15, zoe's bathroom

wing eating contest @ hoooters

quincenerua

sage's bush(es) ate my legs

flat tire.

taco bell

christopher.

spending all my days with D.

You care. Right.

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:19:00 GMT

How many special change, how many lives are living strange?

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 03:30:14 GMT

I spent the night at Nan's new APT. uptown Friday night, while my friends went to the parish fair. We went out to Frenchmen, I got to see her knit tight gang including Veronica and Garrett; that was nice. I ate a burrito from the taco stand, saw my insane cousin after twelve years, and watched a performance by some local New Orleans band that played Neil Young covers. It was nice to be "away" from here. It makes me realize how my environment affects my moods. The general society, even. Some place that is so close to home, can feel so far away just through terms of diversity. I stuck around for awhile the next day, grabbed lunch at Liauzza's, and ran errands with my sister around the city.
I made her cry when I confessed the truth about my dislike for her choice in boys. Maybe I can't feel the way I do about him, but I'm not the one dating him. Like she says, she thinks of me as the older sister, and believes she is letting me down. There go, I felt like shit.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:03:02 GMT

My life has been at ease for the most part. I get to fuck around, and shuffle my roles, but I need a change. A change in a permanent pace.

Life has never felt so good

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:50:32 GMT

I think I'm feeling fine for the first time in awhile. I'm stable, to say the least. No scary threats or thoughts, no cries for attention. I've got everything I need, and the most solid group of well-rounded friends I could ever ask for. I appreciate what I got, and look forward to every day as an expansion towards my goal. Slowly but surely, I'm checking more off the list, making my way to the top.

Now

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:49:33 GMT

I carry you in my back pocket. There, you bring me a sense of warmth, a conversation, a memory, or a mystery. I can rely on you.
"Why is it the closer I get to you, the more you try to push me away?"
Story of my life.

Seeing you today was DELIGHTFUL.

Ironic.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:19:47 GMT

Everything I needed, nothing I wanted.

It took a lot of bad

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 01:56:46 GMT

to realize what may seem like an ideal, just isn't as good as what you already have.

Literally

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 23:36:46 GMT

You've got me nauctious.
I am at a turning point right now.
I am confused, and scared as all hell.
And at the same time, feel like it.
I am sinking.
My thought process is jammed.
Every thought I have is so fucking cynical, it brings me down, mentally and physically.
I don't want to progess in you.
I don't want progess in anything but myself.
It's important that I figure this delima out.

Expectations

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:50:37 GMT

They are never what it seems to be. Surfaced, empty, insecure.
I didn't expect things to be quaint for us, but you're right, you make me fucking happy and that's all there is to it. You are something else, and I would be so happy to accompany you through whatever you need/want.

What

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:58:25 GMT

I've been telling myself the past seven years of my life is that "You don't need anybody but yourself." Which I guess is somewhat true, but at the same time, COMPLETLY false. My intentions were heading the right way, but my motives weren't. Insteading of downing life and everything around me, my new plan, is to accept the good and bad in things, and appreciate what I got. It'll be all good with a nice, SINCERE attitude and an open mind.

WHOOPS

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:49:38 GMT

Huge mistake!

Today

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 01:36:29 GMT

I woke up in a complete funk. I was exhausted prior to my illness and I was sad, nothing new. So I got fucked up, and in time all of that went away. Dalton gave me the greatest present today; an orange kitty. He played some Tony Hawk we mingled, then I came to work and hour late.

I got written up today, but you know what, fuck it, because I just don't care anymore. I am over this.
I'll put it at rest when I start a savings, for now I'm agreeing to disagree. Life's not too bad, BTW. I'm kinda jittery and awaiting what's next. Simply because, right now, I don't have a clue.

REALLY!?

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:39:15 GMT

I can't handle this anymore.

Truth

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:59:44 GMT

Please, stop torturing me.

The more I wait, the harder it will be for me to make my decision with you. All in all, you must be somebody. You appreciate me more than I can feel he ever did. You deny any material possessions, and push closer to my insides. I am growing on you. And though I'm trying not to, I feel a pull in gravity, away from you. I am, yet again, trying to push you away. Just like all other five or six males I've done this too, you'll be attracted to it. You'll crave me, and I'll be aware. I'll deny you and deny the truth. I can't keep doing this to myself.

Glum

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:09:24 GMT

My idea of comfort has made a 180. I no longer find it in you, and that depresses me more than anything in the world.

Signals are Mixed

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 01:54:31 GMT

I'm sad. And though I frown upon people for their own pitty, I haven't been able to let myself be happy.

The difference between this time and the last times are...

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:02:10 GMT

that usually I'm just feeling super anxious. Now, every being in my body is filled with regret and anger.